Some days ago I published an Instagram post, which showed a blog post with the title “Gap Year”. I had intended to edit and publish the post the next day, as you might have noticed this did not happen. What was the reason for this? Simply put, it didn’t make sense. The post reflected the nervous state-of-mind that I unknowingly was in. I had just received not just one, but three uni rejection letters, and was sad without knowing it. My mind was everywhere and nowhere, and apparently, I had been this way for quite a time. I knew in December 2015, when I had just reached the halfway point in my education that I wanted to take a gap year before I went to university because I was tired of going to school (which is understandable after, then, 11 years of school). But when university application deadlines began to roll up, I became excited. All of a sudden, I went on full on research mode, to see what I’d like to study. I then decided to apply, just to be sure I knew how to do it the next year when I really meant it. As soon as I had finished my applications another thought sprung up; What if I get in? Where will I stay? So I applied to studio apartments available for students.
Anyway, fast forward to 27th of July, the day before I would get to know if I got in or not. At this point, I was trying to convince myself that I wouldn’t get in, as my GPA a bit too low. But in a way, I was still hoping that I might get in. It might have been the fact that I wanted to move (which I still do tbh, but have you seen how high the monthly rent is in Scandinavia?!) and just really wanted to try something new. To be honest, I did also have a great interest in the subject that I’d applied for, but I wasn’t a 100% certain that it was the right thing for me.
After I’d gotten the rejection letters online at 23.02 GMT, I was in a weird(er) state of mind. I was sad that I had been rejected, because what the hell should I now do? I wasn’t satisfied with my life. Long story short, I felt horrible.
A week has now gone by since I got those rejection letters, and after a long and amazing talk with my mother, I finally feel better. I’ve always been a person that thinks one year (sometimes more years) ahead. To prove my point; my dad asked me when I was six if I was ready to start 1st grade, and I answered him like I had been thinking about the same thing for ages, I answered that I wasn’t certain, because I thought that I might have a hard time with the exams in 10th-grade. 10th-grade y’all. I wasn’t thinking one year ahead, but TEN.
So this will be my mission this gap year: I will try to live life minute by minute, and I will try to enjoy every single one of those minutes.
Right now I am very uncertain of what I want to work with when I come home from vacation. I do have a job as a barista, but that environment doesn’t really suit me (the sales environment, not the coffee one. I love coffee too much).
But as I said, minute by minute, so this problem will have to be in another blog post.